Good Morning,
I would gladly pay someone to sleep in for me if that were possible. My mind was like a factory, working overtime last night. Two foreman were in charge, Victory was one foreman and Defeat was the other one. They were both demanding "Mind Time". I welcome the hot cup of Door County Cherry Creme Coffee sitting next to me. It is time to write.
Last night in my message to the church I spoke on "Conflict Between Believers". When you deliver a message you are never sure who it impacts and who it doesn't. Today I will continue my message on conflict resolution. In a perfect world, differences would be settled once the process of forgiveness and reflecting on ourselves and our part of the issue starts .Love should take over and things should be finished and everyone just moves on.
I am sure some people took to heart the message to go and correct some conflict between them and someone else. But I would venture a guess that some missed one of the steps and that was first to pray about the situation. In praying, God would show them the way and the TIME.
I did not have time to get to the point of what to do when the healing is not immediate. In that situation one of the parties involved needs some time to heal. One wants immediate results and the other party isn't there yet. I did point people to the Word of God and to make sure they follow Biblical principals of forgiving, confronting and sin.
So once again I returned to God's Word for instruction myself to see what to do when someone needs time to heal and desires time to process the situation. Low and behold the answer was found in the wise words of Solomon.
Ecclesiastes 3:3,5,6,7,
3. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. 5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together. A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. 6. A time for searching and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. 7. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to speak and a time to be quiet.
I am not advocating for killing. But there comes a time when our search for resolution needs to be set on a shelf or accept that it might not happen, while the other party digests the process. What I gleaned from the passage is that there is a time for everything and in some instances we need to "Back off" and let the Holy Spirit and time work on the healing. Checking in and asking for the other person to process the conflict resolution quicker than they are ready to move, is like planting a bean seed and digging it up every day to see how it is doing. Just because you sat down, talked and maybe a counselor mediated, doesn't mean a situation can be fixed by force. That means be silent. Wait on the Lord, allowing Him to work. This is very difficult for intense people. Some people will require space and time and then the intense one doesn't give them room to breathe. People cannot be smothered with attention, gifts or verbal impatience, if we desire them to have the freedom to forgive. Some people cannot be hurried, nor should they.
So ask yourself this. If you are in the middle of resolving conflict with someone, am I being wise or foolish? Are you forcing the issue or being patient? Is your intensity to resolve things offensive and pushy? Are you giving God room to work? Again, in a perfect world, our desire to please God and follow His example of forgiving would allow life to move on and the hurt and anxiety would be in the past and forgotten. But we do not live in a perfect world without sin. So we need to learn this valuable lesson. Wait, wait again and back off, Not everyone is ready to move forward. Sometimes it's not the time to fill the glasses and celebrate.
God bless,
Marty
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