My first cup of Door County Chocolate Cherry Coffee was with me when I took our dogs outside for a run about 30 minutes ago. It was a warm friend to me on this damp morning. The two dogs are back to sleeping and the youngest one is snoring like the steady chug of a steam locomotive. It is time to write.
Yesterday I wrote about husbands treating their wives right. The response to the blog was anything but positive. It did exactly what I thought it might do, Some men read it and gleaned a little from it. Some wives read though and used it as a hammer to pound on their husbands, who probably do need to read the God given advice. But it did help me to know what to write today. In many instances the sweet wives turned into nagging nightmares and I heard about it. Which now has me convicted to write for a third day on the "State Of Marriage" tomorrow.
There is only so much you can write about wives and the expectations God has for them as well as for husbands. A smart person takes the hint and gleans something from the Word of God and then goes and digs for more on their own to improve themselves. I will take a snippet from Proverbs 31 to show what a loving wife is and should be. Women, please read the rest on your own.
Thee following two verses struck me hard and I believe I have found the wife for whom the verses describe.
Proverbs 31:30-31
30. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31. Honor her for the works of her hands and let her works bring her praise at the city gates.
Wives there is a lot to say about you as well as husbands in the Bible and both can be described as "Fools" for not fearing God. What I have seen while sitting at the counseling table listening to the woes of marriages is the ability of some ladies to believe that they are perfect and they should be followed as well as their desires right to the T. Ladies this is nagging and we all know that women don't nag, they just suggest. In many instances the young girls within the family adopt this habit and perpetuate it into their own homes later in life. Or they rebel against the nagging mother and life becomes a quagmire of battles between mom and the daughters. The Bible has lots to say about the nagging wife who sees everyone else's faults but her own.
Titus 2:4
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, and to love their children.
Proverbs 19:13
A foolish child is a father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof.
These are two powerful verses laid upon the ladies here. Ladies if you are nagging and quarrelsome there is a very good chance that you really don't fear God. Now yes, men and our habits and at times our drive or lack of drive can drive women crazy. But many of a nagging self proclaimed perfect lady has done little to teach their children about marriage and loving one another. Nagging about things and pointing out the faults of others is really like a toothache that won't go away.
I asked permission to tell this one. As most of you know we are not the picture of perfection either. We have our quirks but have chosen to work them out when needed or just decide that it really isn't a big deal and we overlook imperfections in each other.
After dinner or any meal we both take our plates to the sink, scrape them and give them a quick rinse before placing them in the dishwasher. This is what Rene asked me to do many years ago, Very often we will do this for the other person as just being courteous. After I do this chore, about two minutes after I leave the room Rene would go into the dishwasher and rearranges the way I placed the dishes. So after awhile of being insulted and nagged without words being spoken I just stopped putting the dishes into the dishwasher. Note both of us were being childish and selfish. Neither of us communicated until I noticed that my plate was being left by the sink. This turned into a major incident of anger because we hadn't communicated in a Godly manner and resolved an issue. It caused me to sin when I said "What Is YOUR problem?" placing the ownership of the whole issue on Rene. She told me that she wanted things arranged in the dish washer according to the type of dish or glass to make sure the dishes were thoroughly cleaned. But it didn't stop there. Everything that had been bugging her came out and it ended up being very quiet around our house for two days. Now the dishes are arranged as requested and I will joke and ask if they should be sorted by color. Rene did not communicate her desires but she will admit that she had started nagging just by mumbling while rearranging the dishes. Now this incident added to world peace and isn't an issue anymore. Had Rene approached me with a dish in her hand reminding me of my inadequacies and with a sarcastic tone it would have been worse. I would have dug in and we would still be eating off of paper plates to this day.
Ladies some of you nag and you don't see it that way. You have placed yourself on the perfection pedestal where you judge your world as you see fit.
So to love each other COMMUNICATE WITH LOVE. Keep the criticism out of it, Show your family the true heart of love you have for God by fearing Him.
There will be one last day of this. But it will be a day of self reflection and healing.
God bless,
Marty
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