A huge cup of Door County White Christmas Coffee is next to me. Two tired dogs are on my feet and it is time to write.
Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
It's that time of year when the Christmas parties and gatherings take place. I find most all of those that I can be part of to be a nice time. But there is a party that I prefer not to be invited to. It is a party that however hard you try to not be invited to, you get sucked in like a small feather is whisked away by a large carpet cleaner. Once inside the dust chamber you are stuck.
The party I speak of are the pity parties people throw for themselves out of selfishness. They choose to be miserable and lonely. They wallow in self pity, avoid going anywhere or complain about everything. They don't realize that someone cares for them and is impacted when they choose to throw a party that no one wants to be a part of. Their absence from family or friend gatherings often makes them the subject of the day. It is not a happy chat that takes place. So in a round about way they received attention but through the misery of others. Then there is the party of anger that can't be let go of ,so instead of having a party of reconciliation the selfish one decides to not heal the wounds and once again all it does is to invite everyone to the pity party.
Friends, there are truly times when such despair is warranted like grieving the recent loss of a loved one. This is a hard time for that person and those not grieving will understand the time needed to heal. What I am speaking of is the self inflicted need to be the center of attention by throwing your own pity party. I have a friend battling cancer in a big way. Every exchange of conversation is uplifting to not only him but more so to me. He works hard right now taking time from his pain and suffering to be a family man of sacrifice. He could easily wallow in the pit of pity but chooses to celebrate each day. He is an inspiration. He doesn't wear the "Oh Woe Is Me Banner" on his chest and hide from interactions with family and friends. If anyone truly deserved to throw a pity party it would be this man. He suffers and no one can tell. Wow!
On the other hand when we choose to self inflict suffering of pity for ourselves and withdraw from the world, we suck in the innocent bystanders around us so they worry, fret, miss us, or get angry. The pity party boy or girl wins and gets attention even if it is bad attention, This helps them to enlarge the misery around them. We then find a substitute to assist us in our mind misery like alcohol or pills. This enhances our ability to be miserable and invite more people to a sick party.
As for me I choose not to be invited to those self inflicted pity parties except when truly needed. Those times are not self centered acts of attention grabbing but are needed and we are to respond with love and kindness. Sometimes your party is to reach out in love to someone who is really hurting. You can tell what is real and needs attention and you can discern what is just plain foolishness. Be there for those in need. Avoid the others.
So today if it is your goal to throw a party of pity for yourself, don't. It only harms others and it is a party best avoided. Join in on life and get off the pity train. You just might make Christmas better for those around you.
God bless,
Marty
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