I wish you could be here for breakfast with me. I will be dining on biscuits and gravy, a small bowl of pineapple and some eggs. We would be sipping on some very hot Door County Mistletoe Mocha Coffee as well as with some orange juice. Some of you I have never met. What a way that would be to meet one another. One can dream.
We are headed into a New Year next week and for the next two days I will be writing on the subject of husbands and wives. I find this to be a good reminder for all of us who are married or who plan to marry.
Colossians 3:19 Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Men, lets chat about being harsh. It is not appropriate to expect that our wives blindly follow someone who is a tyrant and expels potty mouth talk in the home or public. I have noticed of late that vulgar mouths are the norm in public settings. Now at my age I can't punch everyone in the face when F bombs come out of a mouth in front of my wife. Which I feel is most inappropriate and an insult to all those around, especially the ladies and children. This year we surrendered our season tickets to the baseball games and moved our seats to another area known as the family area so as to avoid the same clowns that populated where we sat last year. I would be writing to all of you from jail if I stayed in those seats. This language should never be used in the home even if it isn't directed at your wife. Men love your wives. Loving her is to show her respect with our language.Men, Jesus washed the feet of His apostles and set the example for us. We are to serve our wives when we need to and when it is not needed. We are to have our wives see Jesus in us. Our kids should see us lead by example. Children just learning to talk are perfect examples of our homes. They repeat what they hear. If a kid learns to swear before learning to say please, you are an idiot.
Loving our wives requires us to watch for when our wives need a hand and we need to pitch in. In our home we switched chores many years ago, I do all of the cooking because I like to cook. But if the roles were reversed I would have at least 5 things that I could prepare and serve the family for those days when the wife was called back to the medical center and had to stay there for another 5 hours or more. Not loving your wife would be to say, " Do you have anything made for us to eat"? That is harsh and cruel. She is working to pay the bills as well as you are. "Suck it up Buttercup" and ask her if you can make her a sandwich to eat while she drives back to work. Make something to eat for yourself and possibly the kids if you have children. Don't leave the dishes in the sink for her to do. And if she didn't get a sandwich on the way out, there should be a plate of something for her to eat when she comes home. And she shouldn't come home to you whining on how tough it was to bathe the kids.
The little things that she asks you to do that just drive you nuts or you don't agree with, be like Nike and "Just Do It". Rene has this thing about wrapping your dirty socks together tucking them into one sock. I think it is utterly silly to do this. For years I just ignored her request until I saw her shaking her head over the laundry pile. I still don't get the reason for doing this, but I realized that tucking my socks together took all of two seconds and that I was honoring her simple request. Thus for her this was harsh and irritating. I wasn't loving my wife. I wasn't respecting her.
I could write on this subject for a month. We all know what I am talking about as we appointed ourselves generals over our own little army barking out orders and at times humiliating our wives and kids in the process. This is a huge "No Way!!" The biggest "NO WAY EVER" is to use our wives as a punching bag physically or emotionally. Guys if you think you are tough and you call yourself a man, your wife should know that she is safe with you. Your kids should not have to fear a beating or watch their mother be slapped around. If you are this type of man. you are no man at all. You need help from a professional and should seek it. Most of all, you need a Savior in Jesus Christ who transforms bullies into real men. Seek out a Bible believing church. Tell the pastor your problem and join a men's group where you can be held accountable. As an elder in our church I have sat across the table from some men who just couldn't control their anger. It was evident when they tried to bully me while counseling. That is another story for another time. The long lasting impact of their harsh actions without repenting and truly having a heart for God eventually caved in the family.
So enough said for one day.
Marty
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