Don't Expect A Thing In Return 7/25/2021

 Good Morning,

I started early this morning and the rest I need will have to wait. I am enjoying a strong and hot cup of Door County Hazelnut Cream Coffee and it is time to write. 

Colossians 3:12 Put on then, as God's family, holy, and beloved compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. 

One of the things that can become a dagger to a marriage is kindness. Kindness given with attachments is a recipe for hurt, sorrow and anger. You are probably thinking right now that I have fallen off of my chair and hit my head. How can kindness be wrong? It becomes wrong when you keep score. 

People at best fail at something at least every other day. I tend to spill coffee on my shirt at least once a week. You'd think by now, that I could successfully transfer coffee from a container to my mouth without losing some on to my shirt. People are people. None of us are perfect. People might not see that you would like some kindness in return. 

In the attempt to be kind to one another in relationships, especially marriage to perform a kind act for someone else and add expectations to the gift sets one up for disappointment. Perform acts of kindness and expecting a person to reciprocate in a way that your mind thinks they should, is just plain foolish. When your expectations aren't met your act of kindness becomes less and eventually you will let that person know about your disappointment. Your act of kindness to them now becomes a debt that you have made them owe to you. No longer is the kindness a nice ting, it has become a weight. 

A young man once told me that he had been doing a lot of nice things for his wife and she barely recognized or acknowledged the kindness and " she hasn't done anything nice for me". He lost the joy of doing acts of kindness because He wasn't giving from a heart that gave just out of kindness. He was being kind hoping a deal would be struck and he would get something in return. It wasn't enough for him to be kind and experience that feeling of seeing someone else's joy, without trying to manufacture joy for himself. 

When kindness becomes a chore for the person receiving the kindness, you've lost the whole point of being kind. Have you ever thought that kindness could become evil, just by adding expectations? Food for thought my friends.

Marty