Just Because You Can Change, Doesn't Mean You Should 2/23/2016

Good Morning,

How are you all today? I pray this finds you of good cheer. I raise my cup of Door County German Chocolate Cake Coffee to God and toast Him for being awesome.

Today I want to talk about the trend of permissive parenting. I am a believer in compromise when it is called for. But what I see these days are parents allowing children to dictate the rules for the family. I witnessed this not long ago when I listened to some young teenagers telling their parents that they were not going to church anymore because they didn't like some aspects of the church they were called to years ago. Their mother asked me what I thought and for a moment I almost held back. I told the parents just how lucky they are to have young teens who know everything and it would be a good idea to listen to that well founded and seasoned wisdom coming from a thirteen year old.

Mom was quick to run to the defense of their young Solomons. "You don't understand. If we don't move our church membership we stand the risk of losing them." Not being one to hold back, my reply was simple. "You already lost them. If they run the family and don't know and respect the hierarchy God has established, you have already lost them. If you cave into them now, you have set the precedent for the future". 

I believe this upset this young couple, but the truth is not always pleasant. Ask school teachers about the parents that come into the class declaring that the child's bad grades are always because of bad teaching. They make a horses rump out of themselves by making these claims when actually Gertrude and Johnny are in fact poor students.

Friends we are not doing our kids any favors by treating childhood like a voting Democratic society where by any vote you can lose. Love your kids enough to teach them to respect, honor, and obey you by being consistent and not allowing them to run the household. Spend time with them, serve God with them, have them get to church on time, respect their teachers, and don't make excuses for them. With love, hold them accountable and you do the leading. It's your job to be the parent, not theirs.  This is not exasperating the child. But the opposite is to spoil the child. No one like spoiled milk and less of all a spoiled kid who knows if they complain enough you will let them be the parent.

 Honoring our children above the Lord. Eli also sinned in that he did not remove his sons as priests before God; he honored them above God. In a similar fashion, some parents honor their children above God. I have seen cases in which the church was forced to withdraw from some ungodly children. The reaction of the parents was that they bad-mouthed the elders or quit attending services. Parents are willing to defend their children above the god-fearing elders even though they admit that their children are guilty of sin.
 Failing to restrain our children. Some of us are tainted with the philosophy of modern psychiatry which teaches that children should not be restrained lest they grow up inhibited. Consequently, we see children of Christians who sass their parents or otherwise act anyway they so please. Parents who so conduct themselves toward their children are guilty of sin before God.

In the following passages we can see the signs of permissive parenting practiced by Eli. Unfortunately Eli did not follow God's advice and was a poor leader for his family. The family suffered the consequences.

The Wicked Sons of Eli

¹² Now the sons of Eli were corrupt;^[b] they did not know the Lord. ¹³ And the priests’ custom with the people was that when any man offered a sacrifice, the priest’s servant would come with a three-pronged fleshhook in his hand while the meat was boiling. ¹⁴ Then he would thrust it into the pan, or kettle, or caldron, or pot; and the priest would take for himself all that the fleshhook brought up. So they did in Shiloh to all the Israelites who came there. ¹⁵ Also, before they burned the fat, the priest’s servant would come and say to the man who sacrificed, “Give meat for roasting to the priest, for he will not take boiled meat from you, but raw.”
¹⁶ And if the man said to him, “They should really burn the fat first; then you may take as much as your heart desires,” he would then answer him, “No, but you must give it now; and if not, I will take it by force.”
¹⁷ Therefore the sin of the young men was very great before the Lord, for men abhorred the offering of the Lord.

Samuel’s Childhood Ministry

¹⁸ But Samuel ministered before the Lord, even as a child, wearing a linen ephod. ¹⁹ Moreover his mother used to make him a little robe, and bring it to him year by year when she came up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice. ²⁰ And Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, “The Lord give you descendants from this woman for the loan that was given to the Lord.” Then they would go to their own home.
²¹ And the Lord visited Hannah, so that she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile the child Samuel grew before the Lord.

Prophecy Against Eli’s Household

²² Now Eli was very old; and he heard everything his sons did to all Israel,^[c] and how they lay with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle of meeting. ²³ So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. ²⁴ No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the Lord’s people transgress. ²⁵ If one man sins against another, God will judge him. But if a man sins against the Lord, who will intercede for him?” Nevertheless they did not heed the voice of their father, because the Lord desired to kill them.
²⁶ And the child Samuel grew in stature, and in favor both with the Lord and men.
²⁷ Then a man of God came to Eli and said to him, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Did I not clearly reveal Myself to the house of your father when they were in Egypt in Pharaoh’s house? ²⁸ Did I not choose him out of all the tribes of Israel to be My priest, to offer upon My altar, to burn incense, and to wear an ephod before Me? And did I not give to the house of your father all the offerings of the children of Israel made by fire? ²⁹ Why do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling place, and honor your sons more than Me, to make yourselves fat with the best of all the offerings of Israel My people?’ ³⁰ Therefore the Lord God of Israel says: ‘I said indeed that your house and the house of your father would walk before Me forever.’ But now the Lord says: ‘Far be it from Me; for those who honor Me I will honor, and those who despise Me shall be lightly esteemed. ³¹ Behold, the days are coming that I will cut off your arm and the arm of your father’s house, so that there will not be an old man in your house. ³² And you will see an enemy in My dwelling place, despite all the good which God does for Israel. And there shall not be an old man in your house forever. ³³ But any of your men whom I do not cut off from My altar shall consume your eyes and grieve your heart. And all the descendants of your house shall die in the flower of their age. ³⁴ Now this shall be a sign to you that will come upon your two sons, on Hophni and Phinehas: in one day they shall die, both of them. ³⁵ Then I will raise up for Myself a faithful priest who shall do according to what is in My heart and in My mind. I will build him a sure house, and he shall walk before My anointed forever. ³⁶ And it shall come to pass that everyone who is left in your house will come and bow down to him for a piece of silver and a morsel of bread, and say, “Please, put me in one of the priestly positions, that I may eat a piece of bread.”

Enjoy your day!

Marty